Last week…  Wednesday…  Was the Day Of Weird:

1:  I wore a dress to work.  That is nothing unusual.  I wear dresses or skirts to work fairly regularly, as long as I don’t anticipate a day of excessive movement/PE lessons/generally being on the floor a lot.  I got right to the end of lunch time when I found myself fiddling with my neckline, only to realise that the dress was on backwards.

“Oh my god!” I say, loudly, to a crowded staffroom.  “I didn’t even realise my dress was on backwards!”  Cue discussion of backwards/inside-out dressing woes.

As I told my class after lunch, even grown-ups make a mess of it sometimes.

The next day, I wore a shirt, and at least 5 children asked me whether I was dressed correctly. 😉

2:  The second weird thing that day was the loony-tune parent.

To set the scene, I’m in another teacher’s classroom, next door to mine, along with the cleaner.  We’re just talking about this and that, when a lone, random, unknown, woman ambles down the corridor outside.  Closely trailed by our Head teacher, and some other random woman.  Random woman #2 comes into the classroom and shuts the door.  “Do you mind if I call the police from in here?”  We’re like… “… Sure…?”

Turns out Random Woman #1 is a parent of a reception child, who has come to collect her child whilst high on drugs.  She’s in no fit state to leave with the child, and as our Head won’t let her have said child, high lady is now refusing to leave.  Social Services are now on their way, along with the police to remove High Lady from the building.

Police arrive, and at first, all voices are calm and persuasive.  I open the classroom door to leave, and an almighty scream erupts.  I look out, and the 2 police officers are wrestling High Lady to the floor mere metres from the classroom.  High Lady is screaming bloody murder, “I’m gonna break your fucking face!  Get your fucking hands off me!  AAAARRRRGGGGH!”  The screaming from all parties continues for some time, before they are able to wrestle her into another classroom.  After an hour, things eventually defuse sufficiently for all parties to be able to leave.  The police do not consider it a good use of time to arrest the clearly mental.

3:  Driving home along the A45, trailing a white van, at approximately 65mph.  Suddenly, white van does a judder and a sea of white bursts forth from it.  I duck as much as is possible – in a car, on the middle lane of a 3-lane carriageway, at 65mph – as a sea of white feathers and a low-flying pigeon corpse skim over my roof at speed.  It was nothing short of a spectacular eruption of bird-based carnage.  Although perhaps less fun for the pigeon, completely obliterated as it was.

And that was Weird Wednesday.

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